Un-Popped Collars

I saw them again this morning on my way to work--we high-fived, actually.

Two guys, dressed as if they were on their way to a Hollywood movie premier: ironed black pants, button-up shirts, shined shoes, slick haircuts, complete with laptop-computer leather briefcases. They're all business. What business? It's none of mine... (they tell me).

I don't know where they get their clothes, but Darrell and Mr. Wilkerson are the best dressed men in town. Seeing them walk through the parkinglot across from Van Andel, the could have been en route from their Lexus to the Bridgewater building.

Darrell: Killer smile. New collared shirt every day--deep blue, crimson, gold. Walks like he has a million dollars in his pocket--not like he's weighed down by it or anything, but just that he knows it's there. He swaggers, he winks, and if he applied for a 9-5 minimum wage job, someone would probably think he'd be too overqualified (though I'm not sure he's applying).

Mr. Wilkerson: Looks like a 70's basketball player at a press conference. He's go the tamed 'fro, the over 6' stature, and a stride that lets him cover the basketball court in 10 steps. Skinny, healthy, and always matching--his pants, his shirt, his socks and shoes, and his swaggering partner.

I can't figure out what they do all day, but I have a feeling that after they take a shower and press their clothes outside my office, they just walk around town looking good. And why not? When you're used to being condescended, pitied, 'served', and sometimes avoided, it'd be nice to draw an attracted eye--to have someone look you up and down and say to themselves, those guys have it all together.

Whether or not they do is their business.

Ben on Panhandling (Anna, I'm not a panhandler. I'm a hustler.)

Ben filled me in today on his panhandling theories and ethics. He claims to be the best in the city--a city in which people can get arrested for panhandling for asking someone to give them the time.



Best place to be: Rosa Park Circle, though the police know it too.



People to ask: College kids, businessmen, couples (especially if they're on a first date, and look like they want to impress eachother)



People not to ask: Elderly folks, people with disabilities, moms with a lot of kids. That's just disrespectful.



Best score, recently: A $50.00 bill



Worst response this week: "Get a job and get off the streets, bum." But at least it wasn't handcuffs.



Worst response ever: A good solid beating.



How to approach a college kid: "Hey man, I really want a beer. Help me out?"



How to approach a business man: "Excuse me, sir, but my girlfriend and I stay under the bridge down here, and we're just looking for a meal. Can you spare some change?" Always use the food thing with the business guys, he says.



How to approach me, personally (we did a test. I pretended to be someone walking by, and critiqued him afterward): "Hello, ma'am. I'm just looking for 50 cents for some french fries. Help me out?"



My follow up questions:



What are you really going to use it for? Booze.

What if I bought you french fries? I'd eat 'em, and then try someone else.

Where can you even get french fries around here? We're in a pretty inconvenient location. That's how I usually get the 50 cents.



My answer: I want something out of this, too. I'll give you 50 cents for a really good story.