31 July 2009

Ricky's 50-Cent Story

I paid 50 cents for the rights to this story (my standard story-rate, unless it's really good, impressively animated, or props and costumes are involved) so I thought I might as well share it.

Story Status: True, Semi-Recent
Body Language: Limited arm movements, some raising of eyebrows, occasional tip back in the chair.
Tone of Voice: Soft, smooth, slow, barely audible at times.
Time: 8:50 A.M.

"I was in Mt. Pleasant, you know, and out of all the nights that I played the slots with the quarters I found under tables and bars, I won a ton of money that night. Came out to about $20,000. I thought about what I wanted to do with it, and decided I wanted to get the hell out of here, maybe go to Puerto Rico, where they make the rum, you know? So I bought a plane ticket out of Detroit to Puerto Rico, and got on a Greyhound from Mt. Pleasant to Detroit. I was drinking a lot on the bus, you know how I am, and I met this guy in the back of the Greyhound bus. He was a black guy, and he said that he was a truck driver coming back from up north, going back home to Detroit. We were drinking and everything, and he told me I could stay at his place until my flight the next day. He seemed pretty alright, which is what I needed, since I was carrying a couple thousand dollars in my duffel bag. Problem was I couldn't remember if I told him that, I was drinking, you know, so I can't remember what I talked about or what we said to each other. I have a feeling he knew about what was in my bag but what the hell did I care, I was so wasted. We got to his place, and he said we should go to his friend's house, hang out and party and all that. I said I'd go, and I tell you this was no "friend's house". This was an abandoned building that was taken over by some crack dealers, and I tell you Anna I was the only white guy there. That didn't bother me too much, and I was pretty loose at this point, so I started getting it on with all the guys, got into the stuff, you know, the crack and everything. Then they were all going into rooms with the girls, and I got up there and the girl was there with me and I sat there a while thinking about what the hell I was doing here, and I told the girl I didn't want to do it, I was so drunk, and I gave her some money and told her not to feel bad, I was just too drunk.
Well, when I went back downstairs, they guy I came with, he was gone. He left while I was in with the girl. I looked at all these guys by the door, and I looked at the door, and I saw that this door, it had about four padlocks on it and 2x4's in front of it, blocking the door and all. All the windows were covered too, and I started realizing where I was. There was two guys and they had their arms crossed and everything, but I was drunk so I just went up to them and told them that the guy I cam with, I had to go back with him, that I was staying with him. They looked at me for like an hour, then they nodded at each other and opened all those deadbolts for me.

Somehow, even though I couldn't walk straight, I caught up with the other guy in his car. That doesn't make sense now, but I know that's how it was. He was with his wife, and she was cool. I got in and he said he would just bring me straight to the airport. I told him no, because my stuff was at his house, and then he got really mad, and now I knew he was onto what was in it. His wife, though, she understood, and she brought me back to the house for my bag. He was getting kind of excited, now, kind of mean and getting loud, so somehow that wife, she knew what to do, and she left him there, and made me quick get in the car. She brought me to the airport and I got out with my duffel bag safe and everything. I was going to go to Puerto Rico and get away from all this crazy stuff.

But then Anna, I tell you, I saw this firetruck. And then I saw a couple more, and they were all around this plane. And Anna, I couldn't get on a plane after that. I couldn't do it. So I just went to the airport hotel in Detroit and had my own Puerto Rico. I drank and watched movies, and that was my vacation. That was my Casino winning vacation. And I tell you, Anna, at that hotel, they treated me really nice. Real nice."

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